


when the walls come tumblin' down

by ByTheAngell (SomeLittleInfamy)



Series: Shadowhunters Tarot Series [5]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Angst and Feels, F/M, Gen, Implied/Referenced Abuse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:26:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 451
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23460952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SomeLittleInfamy/pseuds/ByTheAngell
Summary: The scratch on his chest doesn’t heal. It’s fine. He’s fine.The feeling of unrest grows. Of a change he can’t control… a change he isn’t sure he wants to control, as it tugs at the very essence of his being and calls to him, pulling him under.---Or, Jordan starts to change, and though he can feel it coming from a mile away he doesn't do enough to stop it in time.
Relationships: Jordan Kyle/Maia Roberts
Series: Shadowhunters Tarot Series [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664110
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7
Collections: Fluff vs. Angst Battle 2020, Shadowhunters Tarot Challenge





	when the walls come tumblin' down

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the collection's fourth card: The Tower: "An expansive mansion sits precariously on the edge of a cliff. It was originally built on solid ground, but over the years, the wind and raging sea have worn away at its foundation. All it would take is the right breath of wind, another well-placed wave to send it all tumbling into the depths. The occupants of this home have no idea what’s coming. This card suggests a sudden and unwelcome change is on the horizon. The Tower is destruction and chaos and upheaval. It is a trial by fire. We need to walk through the flames, go free-falling into the stormy sea to come out the other side cleansed."
> 
> And (as a bonus challenge I set for myself) focused on [this stunning Shadowhunter's Tarot set's Wheel of Fortune:](https://twitter.com/SERAPHERZ/status/1159791401342652421?s=20) Jordan Kyle

Jordan can feel the changes begin slowly at first. It’s a snapped comment here, a punched wall there, a frustrated scream into his pillow in the middle of the night surrounded by darkness and silence. It’s there, but it’s manageable, and he just needs to find a way to keep things together until he can work past it.

A small voice tells him that this is bigger than him, that he needs _help_ , but he ignores it. He’s just shaken from being attacked by that dog. It’ll pass. He’ll be fine.

Instead, the more uncomfortable in his skin be becomes, the more he fixates on making a plan. Run away and start a new life - somewhere without the little things that seem to set him off at every turn. Somewhere no one knows him, and the little ticks and changes won’t be cause for alarm. Somewhere like Fiji, where he and Maia spoke of going in their daydreams of the future so often that he can’t imagine anywhere else he’d rather be or anyone else he’d rather be there with.

The scratch on his chest doesn’t heal. It’s fine. He’s fine.

The feeling of unrest grows. Of a change he can’t control… a change he isn’t sure he wants to control, as it tugs at the very essence of his being and calls to him, pulling him under.

Maia gets into college on a full scholarship and he knows he should be happy for her. She _says_ he should, but he can’t, because that isn’t _the plan_. He needs to get away and he needs to take her with him, because every fiber of his being is screaming that this place isn’t safe, that they need to _leave_ , but she doesn’t listen.

He snaps, and he shouts, and she’s gone.

He needs to leave but now he can’t. Not without Maia. She’s everything good in his life, everything holding him together, and as she walks away he can already feel the increasingly unsteady foundation of his life begin to shift.

He shouldn’t follow her. He shouldn’t watch her. But he can’t seem to let her - or their dream - go. It’s the one thing in his life that keeps him moving forward, that keeps him from breaking entirely.

Until he breaks her instead. His mind goes dark, and when he comes to Jordan faces the reality of what he's done and the harm he's caused to the one person he loves most in this world. 

‘What are you?’ she asks, and he can’t answer, because he doesn’t know anymore. Not what, or who, he is.

The foundation of his world crumbles beneath him, and instead of salvaging what he can, he runs.

**Author's Note:**

> (Find me on [Tumblr](http://bytheangell.tumblr.com) and also on [Twitter](http://www.twitter.com/By_The_Angell)! <3 )


End file.
